


I'll keep trying (until we're okay)

by LegendaryDork



Series: I like it here, beside you dear [3]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Best Friends, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Magicats (She-Ra), Not Beta Read, Other, Past Child Abuse, Smut, part of a series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:01:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26090788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LegendaryDork/pseuds/LegendaryDork
Summary: As Etheria recovers from the war, the citizens demand justice. Adora wonders how this will go: is she going to be separated from Catra when she's finally back in her life after all this time?A story in which the Best Friend Squad learns the importance of trust, love, and diplomacy.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Series: I like it here, beside you dear [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1882774
Comments: 60
Kudos: 187





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is the third part of a series and I think you'd enjoy the story even more after you've read the first parts! Much love from a safe distance :)

> **Part one – The Hammer of War**

_I'll tip the scales to justice's end but can it make amends?_

The entire planet was a mess after Prime’s invasion of Etheria. After Catra saved Angella from the dimensions she was stuck in, the former queen still needed time to adjust. But months had passed already, and the seven major kingdoms were still far from being rebuilt.

Erasing the Horde’s mess would take time. Everyone was doing their best to make things better, take a step towards a better way of life for every citizen of Etheria – but the people were exhausted, hungry, and mad at the former Horde soldiers. They were demanding the high-ranked former Horde to pay for their crimes – and the Princess alliance had agreed to this.

Even if that meant Catra would be a part of them.

Which was infuriating Adora.

Angella offered she’d be the judge, that the Horde would present themselves alone, and that every citizen was welcome to testify against them. And as expected, it turned out that a bunch of people were mad at them. Hordak pleaded not guilty, arguing his bond to the hive mind was too strong at the time and he could only break from it at the end of the war, when She-Ra saved him. The former Horde leader of Etheria didn’t show any form of emotion, whether positive or negative, which only seemed to increase the citizens’ anger. Angella silently nodded at the argument of each party, took notes, and dismissed Hordak – letting the Bright Moon guards take him to the spare room, locked in by an unbreakable spell.

After an hour-long break – to let everyone’s brain take some fresh air according to the angel – the former second-hand in command appeared to be the next to be judged. Catra stood up during the never-ending list of accusations and pleaded guilty for every single affair, possibly sentencing her to a lifetime of community work on Beast Island – or a one-way ticket to Hell.

“Very well. Your behavior and apology will be taken into consideration. I would like to hear the witnesses in favor of Catra’s plea first,” Angella told the crowd.

And as expected, Adora stood up for her, telling she’s changed and that she saved Glimmer’s life more than once facing Prime’s wrath and its consequences. Then Bow cheered in favor of the latest addition to the Best Friend Squad. Glimmer advanced arguments in favor of how the magicat had changed, trying to improve her behavior, becoming a more stable person since she’d left the Horde.

“Princess Scorpia couldn’t be here today, but she sent a letter after the announcement of the trial,” Angella informed the public. And she started reading out loud Princess Scorpia’s argument in favor of Catra. “Your majesty… Although Catra appears to be on the Horde’s side, I know she has a good heart and –”

“– Lies!” someone yelled in the crowd of citizens. The guards were already trying to seize the troublemaker when Catra stood up and looked at her judge, asking Angella for a silent favor. Angella nodded at the magicat, opened her wings in a theatrical gesture and asked everyone to stop in their tracks – which they did. Still trying to get rid of the guards’ grasp, a sea elf yelled “She killed my daughter!” at Catra, a mix of anger and sadness in her eyes.

An eternity of seconds passed before Catra looked at the sea elf with guilty eyes, mumbling she’s sorry and can’t change the past but she would if she could, because the elf’s daughter deserved to live.

Angella called for a break after this event.

-

Adora sat next to her girlfriend, as the few minutes of break would only allow them to speak – without touching, by judging how the guards were frowning at the blonde girl. “Catra… If you keep going, they’ll have you locked up for the rest of our lives on Beast Island. You have to fight for your freedom, and I’ll think of something. There must be a way –”

“–Adora, stop!” Catra interrupted. The brunette tried to reach Adora’s hand, to have a guard snap at her right away with a _no touching policy or whatever_. “You know I have to do this.”

“But it’s not fair...” Adora protested before lowering her head.

“It’s fair for the people I’ve hurt. Don’t – don’t start with your puppy eyes or –” Catra’s voice broke and she looked at the ceiling, trying to hide the tears threatening to run down her cheeks.

But it was too late on Adora’s side, the incarnation of She-Ra already a mess with her ocean blue eyes full of sadness, all puffy and reddened by her hands wiping the tears away. How was it that she was the strongest woman of Etheria but something as dumb as her girlfriend being overwhelmed by charges made her feel so useless? So dumb, so… _Weak._ Adora sighed as everyone went back to the chambers.

It was funny, Adora thought, how Shadow Weaver of all people was the one who deserved to be the one punished. But no, as always the Horde’s _maternal_ figure had managed to escape – letting Catra pay for Shadow Weaver’s mistakes.

_A_ _gain_.

Adora stood on her shaky legs, letting the last person enter the chambers – and followed, closing the gigantic doors after her.

-

“Miss Catra… You pleaded guilty for the following – terrorism and crimes against the peace and security of Etheria, forced enrollment of citizens in the war effort, attempted murder, involuntary manslaughter, assault, kidnapping. The evidence shown in this session points in favor of these statements.” Angella started. “Are you aware the charges you face can lead you up to a lifetime in Beast Island?”

“Yes, your majesty.”

“Any last words before the jury and I deliberate the case?”

Catra hesitated, Adora noticed. She was making that uncomfortable dance standing from one foot to another, tail swishing lightly and ears backward. _Come on… Don’t be a dummy_ , Adora silently begged her. But Catra didn’t look at her girlfriend. She was just looking down the table in front of her. “I… I wanted to apologize again. I know sorry doesn’t fix things, and I’ll face whatever punishment I deserve. I want to make things right from now on. I can’t change the past – but I want a better future for all of us.”

The jury nodded silently, and Catra was brought back to the spare room – imprisoned, just like Hordak, by an unbreakable spell. They had no visiting rights until the jury’s decision, or something like that, Adora stopped listening when she heard “no”, only letting her frustration grow.

The room started emptying, suddenly flooded with conversations about how can she say that and have you seen her. Of course the Etherians didn’t see what Catra did, because they weren’t on the battlefield – unlike her. Rage started boiling from Adora’s stomach – she was so mad at everyone. Nobody saw what Catra did for all of them… How she became an important part of the Rebellion by herself, putting her life at stake. But as usual, people only saw She-Ra first, the princesses after, and finally the spare parts of the Rebellion rolling from one side to the other.

It didn’t work like that at all, and everyone was blind, Adora was convinced of this.

An unexpected hand fell gently on Adora’s shoulder, startling her – she gasped and looked above her shoulder to see messy, pink, sparkly hair. The sight calmed her down instantly. “Hey, Glimmer.”

“Adora, are you okay? You look… terrible.”

“Thanks, it’s the stress!” Adora retorted a little too loud and laughing a little too much to be only joking.

“Bow will be over in a few minutes, he had to ask his dads something about having dinner all together soon. Mind if I stay here for a while?”

“Are you sure?” Adora hugged herself. Old Horde habits couldn’t leave that easily. Even when it’d been years, the blonde who defected the evil group found it difficult to make new habits, finding comfort in these ones.

“I’m here as your friend. I’m not allowed to enter the deliberation as I spoke as a witness, so I figured you’d need someone to talk to tonight.”

Adora smiled. She was lucky to have such good friends by her side.

If only they were all allowed to be with Catra now.

\---  
  
As the case turned out to be a little more complicated than planned given all the charges pressed against the Horde tormentors, the jury was unanimous – they’d have to pronounce their decision by the end of the month, to analyze every detail of each case.

Which meant Adora would have to wait three whole weeks before she could see Catra again.

If she _ever_ could see her again without bars separating them or Beast Island monsters trying to kill them once more.

So the long wait started for the Best Friend Squad.

They tried following the same routine they all picked up every morning. Glimmer would attend royal duties, Bow would practice archery on targets, Adora would run a few miles before she’d kick a few things. Then the couple would make out together and Adora would visit the people of Etheria to help them as much as she could, her friends joining her hours later to keep on reconstructing the planet.

But Adora would run to go where? There was no war anymore, and none of it made sense to her. And what was the point anyway? Her friends – the former Horde soldiers – were all locked up, and she was free to go. Why did it have to be Adora, of all people, who was the only Horde defect to escape the trial?

It wasn’t fair, and Adora was getting tired of not being able to see Catra as she wanted. Knowing the magicat, her girlfriend would probably establish a routine too – probably sleep until late in the morning, taunt the other prisoners, work out after lunch.

Probably have nightmares, and cry herself to sleep until the next day.

And Adora couldn’t handle being so useless. She _had_ to do something, for Catra’s sake, and for her own.

She had a plan.

And it would work, she was ready to make sure of that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small update to say hi I'm still there! Hopefully a new chapter will follow soon.

_I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting_

_I didn't know if you'd care if I came back_

_I have a lot of regrets about that_

Adora’s plan consisted of bursting in the throne room, beg for Angella to give Catra at least a visit, and eventually let her out.

This plan was easy as pie.

So when Angella refused, Adora didn’t get it. There was nothing wrong about the favor she’d just asked. But then, the former queen of Bright Moon took the excuse that Adora was emotionally too implied to ask anything to the judge of this affair, that she knew how Adora could be… _Stubborn_ – Adora was shocked hearing Angella say that – and that it would only make the citizens even madder.

So she begged to have any form of contact, which Angella refused.

_Maybe it’s for the best_ , Adora thought, _but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying_.

And she didn’t – She _had_ to see her girlfriend once more.

And she wasn’t allowed to.

Still, Adora – being as stubborn as her friends would say about her – held the piece of paper tightly against her chest. Walking towards the room where her girlfriend was imprisoned, waiting for her judgment.

***   
  
As Catra was taking a nap under the afternoon sunlight from her spell-cell, ruffled steps and voices rising behind the main door woke her up. Knowing the Dummy Squad – she liked calling them that. _Her_ dummies. – it was probably about doing a prison break, or a mutiny of some sort. Opening her eyes, the magicat princess observed Hordak in his own cell, ruminating his _glorious past_ – his words – and drawing First Ones patterns on the floor.

The Dummy Squad behind the door was anything but stealth, _even Hordak_ could hear them.

“– Let me bring this to her at least!”

“Adora, no! You know we can’t interact with the prisoners!”

“But it’s not fair!”

“Fair or not, follow the orders!”

“But Glimmer!”

“Guys please –”

And two voices in unison, harmoniously yelling “Not now Bow!” finished the scene in beauty.

Catra snorted, used her hands as voice amplifiers and cried out “Hey! Stop trying to break in and do something productive!” before they all stopped moving. _Stupid_ , Catra thought, before the squad started dragging their feet away from this room. _Just wait a few more days Adora…_

It had to be only a few more days.

-

Queen Angella, of all people in the castle, was the one paying a visit to the former Horde leaders. Walking proud, sure steps and flamboyant hair freshly cut moving each time the former leader of Bright Moon stepped closer to Catra. Her face was showing no emotion at all, her pursed lips almost white, and Catra knew it couldn't possibly be a good sign.

The former queen was visibly mad.

“Soldier, I have intercepted Adora trying to reach to you. The guards have sworn it is the first time. Is there a way for you two to communicate together? Or did Glimmer teleported within the circle?”

“If something’s planned, I’m not part of it.”

Angella frowned in direction of Hordak, still lost in his own thoughts. “She tried to send you this,” the older woman said, giving Catra a letter with the seal previously opened. “You and Hordak will be allowed one letter to the person of your choice. I’ll have paper, ink and pens brought to you. I will be aware of any attempt at escaping before the trial – make good use of your only contact with the rest of the world.”

None of the prisoners thanked her out loud – but Catra sighed loud enough to express her relief. She looked at the piece of paper in her hands and could recognize this writing over thousands.

_Adora_.

Adora wrote her a letter.

Catra traced the curves of the first words, throat tightening.

_Dear Catra,_

_I swore as She-Ra that I would protect Etheria at all costs, but that didn’t mean I’m letting you down. Not again. I promised you I’d be there for you, and I keep on intending that promise. I miss your smile, I miss the sparkle in your eyes when you and Glimmer try to destroy the plants as fast as possible in the gardens and your laugh when you cross Perfuma’s face afterwards._

_I’ll keep trying to take you out of here. You deserve to redeem yourself, just like Scorpia and Entrapta are free to do. You deserve to walk freely just like Micah does, and he was… You know._

_There are good things about you, I know it. Glimmer and Bow know it. You’re not just your past’s mistakes, and I want to make sure the world knows it._

_I’m so sorry I can’t help you, Catra. I wish I could, and I would do anything to see you again, but that would drive the people of Etheria crazy. If only I could go back in time… I would savor every single minute spent with you, even more now than ever. Please, my love… Take care of yourself, and don’t beat yourself too much about it._

_Forever yours,_

_Adora._

Catra couldn’t stop those stupid tears from falling on the letter, staining the ink there, curving the paper as it was soaked. “Don’t beat yourself too much” was easy to say, when you were one of those on the good side. But the magicat?

She was the bad guy.

Everyone knew that.

Including her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm already back >:3 
> 
> Figured yesterday's chapter was a little short, so I wanted to give you a little more of the story today. I hope you'll enjoy it!

_Adora,_

_Stop trying to be the hero. I made mistakes, and as I’ve told Angella (hi by the way. I know this will be read before Adora does.) I’ve made mistakes, and I’ll pay for them. Saying sorry was a thing, making it up for my mistakes is another. And I’ll handle this. Etheria, the dummy squad, the princesses, hell even you deserve this._

_If you really insist on helping me, stop trying to get me out of here and let me fix my past behavior. I hate being locked up as much as you do, and Hordak isn’t the best at small talk let’s be honest. So stop trying to break me out and learn how to knit, teach First Ones reading to Etherians, find yourself an activity that doesn’t involve She-Ra. There’s no war, so use the spare time to know who you really are. Because I’m pretty sure you’re hugging a pillow every night and Melog has to purr to help you sleep_ _or else you’ll cry and make a mess out of this bed. Maybe fight in your sleep, Mrs. Anxiety._

_I wish I could see you again, and I never in my life thought I would say this but please,_ please _play by the rules this time._

_But don’t steal a skiff with another gal, this is_ our _thing._

_All my love,_

_Catra_

Catra reread her letter and gave it to the guard standing in front of her. _This will do_ , she thought, and hoped Adora would actually listen to her. The trial was only a few days away. In this prison cell, she had food, water, and even the hygiene necessities nobody would dream of back in the Horde. The magicat hated that tightness in her throat and did what she always did best. Roasting other people, just gently enough to be polite but getting on their nerves easily.

“Yo Hordak, writing to the scientist who stole your heart to experiment on it? Whatcha think she’ll do?” She smirked, already enjoying the grunt in response. “Oh, I know! She’ll probably make it…” _Dare I say it?_ Catra thought. Silly question. Of course, she would. “...Soft.”

The result was even better than anything the brunette expected, seeing Hordak burst in anger, yelling and hitting the protective shield in front of him. _Perfect_ , Catra believed. _This will make the day better._

Catra sat on her cell bed and crossed her legs, enjoying the scene in front of her – Hordak being held in this cell, unable to hurt her, a prey to his own feelings. Catra had power over him that way, and that was satisfying enough. Not to mention a good distraction, as they would have to be in the company of each other for a few more days again. An unexpected purr rose from her chest. Maybe she was enjoying it a little too much.

But after all, maybe Hordak deserved it a little.

-

The last few boring days finally passed, both too fast and too long at the same time. Catra hated feeling like a lion in a cage, having nothing to do but stay stuck in one room. Not being able to get out, feel the wind on her fur, or the gentle warmth on her skin. She was getting sick of the castle’s lights and needed some fresh air. Still, she didn’t want to take fresh air to face her trial. That brought a lot of anxiety that expressed itself in that uncomfortable knot in Catra’s guts, in her shaky legs, having her shut down emotionally.

The walk was too long and too short, the air was too heavy and too cold at the same time. Catra wanted to run, or she wanted to stop. She didn’t really know. Would she enter the big cold room full of these eyes judging her? Or wait for them to tell her to enter? She desperately wanted to see those big blue eyes in the crowd, but didn’t want Adora to see her like this at the same time. And that didn’t even make sense. It was just a few minutes of having a conversation with the judges, and she’d been stuck between dimensions with one of them. It wouldn’t be hard, would it?

But Catra was so wrong.

It _was_ hard.

It was hard seeing these distorted faces, the eyes full of anger, those full of grief, of sadness. The limbs missing and the faces broken. Physically. Mentally. The acidity of some faces against her – rightfully – as they’ve lost someone.

The war was terrible, and its impact was broader than Catra thought. This didn’t concern only the soldiers. The civilians were shaken too.

The whole world had to be rebuilt.

“Force General Catra, please stand up,” Angella said solemnly. Catra did as she was told. “You pleaded guilty for the following: terrorist and crimes against the peace and security of Etheria, forced enrollment of citizens in the war effort, attempted murder, involuntary manslaughter, assault, kidnapping. You added your apologies at the end of the first day of the trial. You confirmed that you were aware of the issue of the trial, leading possibly to a lifetime on Beast Island. Is this still the case today?”

“Yes, your Majesty.”

“Very well.” Angella stood up. “For all these reasons, I have asked for evidence and testimonies. From the evidence and statements made against you, you are a bloodthirsty, ruthless soldier who will not hesitate to do anything for achieving your aims. You’re ambitious, have shown no personal ties towards people who described themselves as your friends. You are responsible for the siege of Salineas, and the fall of its realm. You have let countless murders, rapes and pillages under your command…”

The list went on and on, describing every little thing that Catra hadn’t realized had happened. Because she wasn’t here, and because she let a few other Force Captains handle some of these tasks. Still, she was responsible for them. And she was about to be made an example, for all the others. This had to be it.

“However,” Angella continued, “you also have shown remorse and switched sides, as I’ve been told. You saved Queen Glimmer’s life on Horde Prime’s ship several times, helped the Rebellion spy on the Horde as you were chipped despite the trauma that it led to, saved Adora from the First One's defenses and eventually from the Heart of Etheria.” The judge cleared her throat. “Your case was difficult to discuss, because a lot happened in these years. The jury and I could not agree to the unanimity. But we eventually find you guilty as charged.”

_Guilty_.

Of course, she was.

“Force General Catra, you may sit down, as I’ll process to Hordak’s judgment.”

And hell, did Catra sit down. The rest of the trial became blurry. Catra was feeling dizzy, somehow disconnected. Like her spirit had left her body.

She stayed there, like a lifeless body on its chair.

From far away she heard those words.

“For all these charges, Hordak, I will sentence you to a lifetime on Beast Island. You shall do community work in favor of Etheria’s improvement, and in favor of the Rebellion. You will help the planet rise again and will be isolated from the rest of our society. Catra, for all these charges, I sentence you…”

Some citizens jumped with happiness, some became mad and had to be evacuated. Catra still hadn’t found her way back to her body, seeing herself sitting on that chair with wide eyes. She couldn’t hear the people around her. Couldn’t feel the hands shaking her body, trying to pull her away. Couldn’t feel the cold sweat running down her temples. She could only hear her heart throbbing, trying to make its way out of her chest. She couldn’t see anything anymore…

It all went dark, and she felt so dizzy. Catra blinked – couldn’t open her eyes again.

Her body lifted somewhere – Catra fainted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oopsie?


	4. Chapter 4

“Everybody move!” Adora yelled, running to catch Catra’s unconscious body. The blonde noticed the pale face of her girlfriend during the entirety of the trial, and how her spirit seemed to leave her body after hearing the word “guilty” – a sentence that was to be expected.

_Guilty…_ Adora would think about all that later. She caught Catra mid-fall and secured her girlfriend in her arms. The crowd encircling the two women was making the blue-eyed girl anxious, the people looking more like a swarm of deadly bees around them, ready to sting. Glimmer and Bow found a way to join them, making more room to let Catra and Adora breathe. Angella demanded to have the courtroom evacuated, the order followed by the royal guards. The slender warriors pushed the crowd outside, having the citizens stay in the throne room – so that Angella and the rest of the jury could answer their questions but there would be no appeal in this case.

“I can teleport us –”

“No! She hates it!” Adora cut Glimmer off before she could finish her sentence.

“Then come on, Adora. Let’s move her to a safer place,” Bow suggested gently, a comforting hand on the blonde’s shoulder.

“Your Majesty… the Queen Mother requires your assistance,” another guard said. _How many were there anyway?_

Glimmer sighed. “Ugh… Fine. Bow, I trust you to keep these two safe. I’ll visit you both as soon as I can… Take care guys.”

“Love you, babe.”

“Love you too. Now go before the people hunt you down,” the queen of Bright Moon pressed.

So Glimmer left them for the throne room, leaving Bow lead the way to a calm room, followed by Adora carrying Catra.

If Adora was honest with herself, she’d say she relied too much on She-Ra lately. Carrying her girlfriend bridal style had her muscles screaming and cramping faster than she’d anticipated. She’d have to do something about it – later.

When the trio finally reached one of the spare rooms, Adora lied Catra down the bed and sighed.

“So… It’s over, isn’t it?” Bow asked in a whisper.

“Yeah… What are we gonna do?”

“As Angella said. We need the people on our side, Adora. No matter how hard it gets.”

Hours passed. A minute after the other, and Adora could almost feel the dark circles growing under her eyes. Her body felt sticky and gross, her hair was disheveled and looked like nothing she’d ever seen. Her throat was dry and her eyes swollen, head aching from crying all these hours. And Catra was still deep into that vegetative state for now. Adora’s stuffed nose sniffled every few seconds, and yet Catra wasn’t reacting.

And that _hurt_.

The door creaked slowly, announcing well-known footsteps. Glimmer smiled gently at Adora, squeezing her friend’s forearm.

“Hey Glimmer,” Adora’s husky voice resonated in the empty room for the first time in hours.

“Hey… How’s it going?”

Adora lowered her head, shoulders rising. Feeling so… Small. So powerless about everything that happened. “I wish I could do something for her.”

Glimmer scoffed at this and pinched her nose theatrically. “Then _please_ take a shower. The room stinks and reminds me of the soldiers changing rooms.”

The blonde could only roll her eyes at this remark. “Well, I’m not sorry. Turns out _I am a soldier_ ,” she started with a smile – but so was the unconscious woman in the bed in front of them, and another pang of guilt tightened Adora’s chest. Something Glimmer probably noticed, as the queen thinned her lips in a whitening pinch.

“Take a shower, rest for a few minutes. Then you can get back. You need to take a break Adora.”

“But I can’t let her here alone –”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Glimmer answered patiently. She pointed at the parchment rolls around her belt. “Look, I have all this paperwork to review and sign thanks to my mom. Take a few minutes for yourself, and go back after you changed that awful red jacket for something more comfortable, and less worn.”

Adora wanted to retort, but her friend was right. Maybe a few minutes would help her calm down. And she had to check on Melog anyway. She stared at Catra, still breathing in a deep and slow pace. _Okay…_ Holding Catra’s hand, she kissed it. A silent _I love you_ yelled from the bottom of her heart, hoping her girlfriend would hear the call.

Silently, Adora left the room, Glimmer already proofreading all these new royal statements.

Undress. Water. Scrub. Rinse. Dry. Dress. Brush hair.

Simple tasks that usually needed close to no effort to Adora, yet it seemed harder than ever lately. _Why?_

Why was she so tired? And why did it have to happen now, of all times?

Adora felt so sore, so sleep deprived. So, _so tired_.

The young adult forced herself to get out of the steamy bathroom to check on the big alien cat in her bedroom. Usually at this hour, Melog would be taking a nap with Catra in bed. But since Catra was away, they took the habit to roam in the room, walking in circles – visibly annoyed. The bond between them and her girlfriend was so deep Adora would know about the feelings of one or the other right away. Since she’d left the room in the morning to assist the judgment, she didn’t see Melog yet – wondering how they would feel. Turning the knob and pushing the door, Adora encountered a big cat sound asleep in bed, fur blue with happiness. A relief, as it turned out for both of them – the anxiety episode was behind them now. “Let’s see Catra you big goof,” petting their mane. The “mrrp” she received in return confirmed that both would go and wait for the magicat to wake up.

A talking horse turned out to be a pet companion that demanded less attention, Adora had realized some time ago. Because Melog would be sassy at times, taunting Adora and playing with Catra in the castle, having them meow and break things all night long or scratching the doors. There was so much of Catra’s behavior in Melog’s, it comforted her. It was almost like she was there with them – minus the sempiternal “Adora I’m hungry”. At least, Swift Wind would do his business whenever and wherever he wanted, completely independent. As he said so well, an apple is an apple, no matter whose hands have given it. Melog, however, was really demanding of affection.

But right now, the two companions walked at a fast pace to finally be reunited with the magicat they both loved so much.

Finally arrived at their destination, Adora could notice the slow creak of the door being opened, Melog’s quiet steps, her own heavy pace and the sound of the boots stomping the floor. Her eyes focused first on Glimmer’s focused face, feather scratching the paper with ink. Then Adora’s gaze stopped on Catra’s silhouette. She tried her best to be as silent as possible, but Melog ruined Catra’s sleep and jumped on the bed, waking the magicat in an instant – having her sit up and gasp, eyes wide, arching her back – a pale face of horror turning into an angry reaction within a second, as Catra heard Glimmer scoff at the ruffled fur and tiny jump Catra just made.

“Your tail tripled its size,” Glimmer added giggling, wiping a tear of laughter off the corner of her eye. “please never change Catra.”

“Shut up!”

Adora smiled, watching Catra’s ears go back, trying to be threatening. She was so cute like this.

“Anyway, _some of us_ have work to do. I’ll let you catch up lovebirds. Nice to see you Melog,” Glimmer stood up, visibly tired of her day. The reconstruction of a whole planet needed a lot more paperwork than it seemed.

Glimmer waved goodbye to the girls and the alien pet, and closed the door behind them. Before the click of the knob was heard, Adora was already hugging Catra in a tight embrace, Melog doing a massive headbutt to Catra’s face. Two distinctive purrs filled the empty room with warmth and relief, the sweet sound of what Adora liked to call _home_.

“Hey, Adora.”

“Hey, Stubborn Brat,” Adora smiled, kissing her girlfriend. The soft lips dancing with hers lifted her heart in a way only Catra could do to her, and had she missed this. She’d missed _her_. So much it hurt, apparently. But right now, the couple was finally reunited and they could finally touch and see each other, and it felt so good.

It was like Adora was finally complete, and not lonely anymore. Neither of them would break the embrace, so they stayed in contact for who knows how long, with Melog keeping them together.

But eventually, Catra broke the embrace and started looking away, and Melog started to be agitated again, tail swishing at a fast pace. The magicat scratched the back of her neck, throat already tightening.

“So… What happened? At the trial? After – after I was found guilty.”

“Catra…” Adora’s voice was shaking, too.

“I can handle it.”

“Okay… They appreciated that you pleaded guilty. You are to be escorted by Mermista at all times until you go to bed and soldiers will take over and watch out for you. You have to rebuild Salineas until it’s completely functional, and after that you’ll be headed to Beast Island – but not forever. You have a mission there, and that’s it. We’ll be sent in space without you…” Seeing Catra’s blank stare, Adora wasn’t _sure_ the magicat would be able to take it.

“What – what mission?”

“Catra –”

“What mission, Adora?”

“You have to find the realm of the magicats.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh no


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huuuuge thanks to [Amitola12](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amitola12/pseuds/Amitola12) for beta-ing this sinful chapter, and [rokumonshi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rokumonshi/pseuds/rokumonshi) for introducing us. Enjoy the (almost) plotless chapter!

“Disappointing. Some creatures are destined only for destruction,” Prime said through Catra’s body – before the brunette’s body stiffened, before she screamed. Before she fell in the darkness of Prime’s ship. Adora jumped and fell, hearing Catra’s bones crack in a haunting sound. Adora’s foot touched the floor and braced herself for her leg to break in multiple places. Adora’s body finally landed, tearing her body apart with pain and pressure in her legs – she inhaled and –

“AH!” Adora screamed, tears bursting and body stiffening. She opened her eyes, Brightmoon’s bedroom in her sight. Heterochromatic eyes scrutinized her in the dark.

“You were having a nightmare again,” Catra whispered cautiously. “Still the same?” she asked, getting closer to Adora – careful not to touch her. The magicat always knew how bad Adora felt after a nightmare, and whenever the blonde needed time to calm down before accepting physical contact again, Catra just figured it out before anyone else did.

“Always,” Adora answered.

“You know, I thought I was the only one you were thinking about all night long and who could make you scream so loud.”

Adora scoffed, mission accomplished for Catra. “You’re terrible.”

“You always knew that.”

“I guess I did,” Adora replied softly. “Unfortunately my dumminess makes me stay with you.”

“So dumb.”

“Yeah, right?” the blonde scoffed.

Adora’s hand brushed Catra’s, ready to get closer to her girlfriend. The magicat’s tail wrapped against her girlfriend’s ankle, in a relieving silence. After all these years, Adora found it comforting to communicate without words – she was always more comfortable _doing_ rather than _saying_ after all – with her girlfriend, and the feelings were mutual. The nights were getting colder, almost biting Adora’s skin, but luckily enough she had a partner with a naturally higher body temperature and a soft fur. Catra’s purring was the only sound in the room louder than the slow rhythm of the girls’ breathing.

“Wanna talk about it?” Catra asked in a whisper.

“Can we just cuddle and talk about nice stuff?”

Catra pulled Adora closer. “Sure babe, I got you.”

“You always do,” Adora answered, kissing Catra’s lips slowly. Catra made sure to kiss her back as gently, adding a muffled “smooth” between kisses.

Nights were somehow comforting, time stopped in between the same cold, sunny days. It probably was the hour right before the daybreak, but neither of them cared. There was warmth in their embrace, an unspoken flame – at times a blast of passion consuming them, in other circumstances a delicate spark of tenderness – of devotion to each other. Adora realized as her fingers played with Catra’s messy hair that tonight was one of those nights when she felt almost overwhelmed by all these feelings, love and dread, happiness and sadness and – “I can see your brain overheating already, Adora.” Catra smiled at Adora’s surprised gasp, as if she’d caught a child hands in a forbidden packet of biscuits. “Talk to me.”

Adora hesitated for a second. “Do you ever… Ugh, forget it.” Catra didn’t push further, something which Adora was thankful for.

“So… The dummy squad in space huh. Finally a vacation that won't have all the problems that come along with your chaotic asses.”

“Hey.”

“Am I wrong?”

“No, but you don’t have to expose the truth like this, Catra.” Adora answered in pretend-offense.

“Love you too princess.”

“You’re lucky I’m too tired to kick your ass right now.”

“I win by forfeit then.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me,” Catra smirked.

Tracing her fingers down Catra’s cheek, Adora gently pulled the brunette closer and brushed her lips on Catra’s, sharing a slow kiss, tongues dancing together.Adora felt Catra's hand give a slight tug against her waist, the brunette moving to position her across her lap. Feeling the tension growing and the kisses heating, Adora switched on top of Catra at a teasingly languorous pace. And that was funny, because Adora didn’t need to have the ability to see in the dark to know that Catra, _her_ Catra, was reduced to a shy mess, even redder than her jacket, squirming under Adora’s body, eyes either on the blonde’s biceps or her chest.

Yes, Adora didn’t need to have special abilities to figure out the softness could turn into something else at night, since no one would bother them by breaking down the door or teleporting in... The assured privacy made her want more.

_Need_ more.

“Adora…” Catra moaned as her lover planted a kiss on her neck.

Catra’s hips bucked against Adora’s – silently pleading for more.

The pair had never discussed engaging in any 'Fun times' before, Adora assumed Catra wasn't interested, but then Adora realized maybe she was. She'd never given the topic much thought herself, actually, between her soldier upbringing and all the fighting in the war. Maybe she was overstepping boundaries currently and... “Adora. You’re doing it again.”

“Huh?”

“You froze again.”

“Ugh, I’m sorry.” Adora planted her face in Catra’s neck, cuddling closer.

“What were you thinking about, princess?” Catra asked in a considerate tone, – _thankfully_ retracted – clawed hands on Adora’s back, letting her tight embrace show how much she cared about her dummy, blonde girlfriend.

“I’ve never… You know,” Adora hid closer, embarrassed that she had to actually _talk_ about this.

“And what’s the problem about it, babe?”

Adora hummed Catra’s scent, enjoying the appeasing purr emanating from her chest, the messy locks of her growing hair brushing Adora’s. “I don’t… I don’t even know where to start.”

Adora warmed as she felt Catra's smile against her skin, their bodies so close together. The night was still dark but the birds were already singing outside, creating a peaceful atmosphere between them. Adora felt connected to Catra, entangled bodies in their bed – there was no way it was Adora’s bed anymore. It felt so right to have Catra here, breathing slow against her, and she enjoyed the presence so much. “There’s no plan for that kind of stuff, it just happens,” Catra simply said. “You don't have to make me come in like, less than five minutes, though I wouldn't be complaining if you did. I don't even know what you like, so guess we're even,” she added, chuckling.

“Look at us being clueless once again. It’s getting old,” Adora smiled.

“You’re old. You've got at least a couple months on me, Princess.” Catra joked.

“Pfft, mean.”

As nervous as she was about making love with Catra, Adora also felt so safe with her. The whole clueless lesbians thing, however, _was_ getting old, and Adora hoped it wouldn’t take them years and a war to finally understand each other again. “You promise we’ll talk about it? About… What makes us feel good and…” Adora couldn’t finish the sentence, her tongue suddenly too shy to continue.

Catra pulled the blanket over them, her purr reaching new heights. “I promise, Princess. Don’t make such a big deal about it. Just let it happen, you’re safe with me. I got you.”

“You always do,” Adora answered, kissing Catra’s neck again.

“Not complaining, but is this going to be a thing? You say that and then you kiss me. Because it’s nice.”

“Maybe.”

Before Catra could say something sarcastic, Adora kissed her again, a hand on her purring chest. Catra responded with tenderness to Adora’s kiss at first, but couldn’t stop a throaty moan as Adora played with the fabric of her T-shirt, caressing Catra’s collarbone, teasing her, tracing her fingers on Catra’s skin. Several kisses followed, each one growing more heated, urgent, and needier than the last. As Catra parted from Adora, the blonde knew she was in for a petty remark.

"Oh, no I don't know where to start. Maybe I should I touch your boobs? Is that okay?" Catra imitated Adora, who giggled at the mocking tone.

“A girl has to start somewhere,” the blonde retorted in her defense.

“You can touch me, you know,” Catra continued, smiling.

Adora could feel her face heating as she blushed, but said nothing. Instead, she tentatively caressed Catra’s chest – carefully brushed her girlfriend’s curves, circling her firm breasts. They felt so soft under Adora’s touch, so warm, she could get lost in Catra’s huffs each time.

Catra was a master of control. Every move she made, every word she spoke was carefully cultivated and only released at the absolute optimum time. But at the first touch of Adora's hand against her chest, she was reduced to a panting mess. Her hips bucked of their own accord against Adora's, a fact that left Adora burning with desire, the tension between her legs increased to a fever pitch. She had only one thought- she needed Catra. All of her.

_Now_.

Catra’s lips crashed on Adora’s, filled with that sense of urgency. “A – Adora…” was whispered between kisses, replaced by another moan, louder this time, as Adora’s tongue brushed Catra’s. _You’re so hot… Need you._

Catra was panting so much Adora found it hard to touch her properly. The blonde made her way on top, blocking Catra’s hips between her strong thighs – _Fuck I’m so wet_ , Adora realized. Catra mewled as she realized too, grinding against Adora. “Adora, please…” _Yes, love._ Adora ran both hands over her lover's body, irritated at how Catra's shirt was getting in her way. Much to her delight, Catra growled out for her to "Get rid of it. Now." Adora nodded, immediately obliging her girlfriend by ripping the cloth apart with her hands. “Fuck...” Catra whimpered, her now bare chest under Adora’s body.

“You’re so beautiful,” Adora said reverently as the first sun rays pierced the darkness of their room. And Catra _was_ gorgeous, her amber and sapphire eyes full of love and lust, watching Adora as if she were the sexiest being to ever walk the face of their planet, a single fang biting her own lip and bare chest exposed to Adora in such a vulnerable position. The blonde loved everything about Catra and needed more; she needed to display how in love she was with the woman below her, how choosing Catra as her companion was a choice she would make time and time again, under any and all circumstances. Anything that made Catra… _her_ Catra.

She returned to kissing Catra, the trail going lower and lower, until Adora stopped above Catra’s breasts. She looked at her girlfriend, who nodded, and started kissing one of her nipples, while using her fingers to caress the other. Feeling it harden under her tongue felt so good, the difference sent a jolt straight to between Adora's legs. The tingling sensation was new; it emanated raw carnal energy that was so distracting but felt _so good…_

Adora removed her own shirt and threw it across the room, not caring in the slightest where it landed. Her arousal craved direct skin-on-skin contact. With a heavy-lidded grin at the exposed chest above her, Catra commented. “Damn, aren’t we eager.”

To say Adora was eager was far, far from actual reality. Eager implied choice; Adora demanded to _take Catra right here, right now._ _Take her hard, make her come for me and only me because she's..._ "Mine. You're mine."

  
"Yes, I'm yours, Adora. All yours." Catra whimpered in reply. “Please, touch me.” Adora complied with the plea, touching Catra's bare skin. She was drunk on the scent of her; that sweet and tangy fragrance, tinged with a hint of cypress driving her wild at every caress of her girlfriend's lightly furred body. She began to kiss every inch of that exposed body.

“Your hand Adora… I need your hand,” Catra pleaded – growling with frustration. “Need you inside, babe, please –” Adora could only nod. Of course, she would do anything to please the woman she fell in love with. _Fuck she’s so hot… And so wet_ , the blonde noticed, teasing Catra’s entrance. _So wet for me…_

Adora's hand slid beneath the waistband of Catra's shorts, wanting nothing more than to be inside the woman as quickly as possible. Annoyingly, the garments made the position a slightly awkward affair; hastily Catra shucked all her remaining clothes from her body, the speed at which she did so firing Adora's desire even more.

The sight of her gorgeous lover's body laying on the bed, legs spread open just for her, unleashed a moan from deep within Adora's chest. Catra was just so beautiful, so sinfully sexy in this position. Adora wanted her mouth to follow along that happy trail, to graze down Catra's abdomen until she reached the treasure waiting just for her at the end. But she hesitated, cheeks rivaling the hue of a sun-ripened tomato, just staring longingly at the path she wished so desperately to take.

“Adora, if you don’t fuck me now, I’ll fuck myself right in front of you,” Catra warned.  
"Is that a threat or a promise?" The blonde retorted with a smug grin, highly turned on by the prospect of her girlfriend taking herself for Adora's viewing pleasure. The thrill of the mental image was enough to drive Adora to action. _I'm in charge here,_ _love_ _…_

The few remaining layers of clothing between the woman were quickly removed, Adora's body shining with sweat in the glow of the morning light. Moving in a way to show off her toned body, Adora lowered herself on to Catra, pressing their hips together. Feeling the hot, wet heat of her lover against her own drove her absolutely crazy in the best of ways; she relished the feel of Catra's legs around her hips, any room between them quickly disappearing as Adora thrust their bodies together.

“Shit Adora – you feel good… So good…”

Oh, how Catra’s voice was exhilarating – To know Adora was the only one making Catra feel that good, get lost in her body, feeling the soft fur in contact with her own skin –

“Good mo–oh fuck, I’m out” the voice behind stopped them, stopping the two panting women in their tracks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The author," the AO3 readers screamed happily. "They're back from their unexpected break!" 
> 
> Yes. But for how long...?

Angella cleared her throat, awkwardly trying to find _anything_ to alleviate the uncomfortable tension in the room. “It is quite sunny today, isn’t it?”

A clutter of “Mh.” “Sure is, your Majesty! I love the sun! It feels so good on my face and – heh –” “Yeah, crazy right!” “So what’s today’s strategy? Cutting off the gardens’ weeds? I’m ready to slice a few things here…” followed, leaving the angel sighing. The former queen of Bright Moon suspected something had happened between the four young adults and, given the tension, she decided to try another strategy to fix things.

“I’ve heard Mermista is to arrive by the end of the day. How long is she staying with us, Glimmer?”

“Until the end of the week. Then – well. Entrapta is supposed to be there on Friday, we’ll spend the weekend planning everyone’s trip all together and everyone leaves by Monday morning. We’re supposed to have a month-long mission, just starting with the nearest planets.”

Angella saw Catra frowning, arms crossed and shoulders high, convinced it had to do with the previous result of the trial. Her reaction was fair after all, the former queen thought, as the lovebirds had finally found each other after years of separation. But she had a duty towards her people, and if it meant being despised by Catra in order to keep the political situation at peace, she would carry the burden of this grumpy cat near her.

The situation was far from ideal, but Etheria had to start its restoration somewhere.

***

_Etheria – Past_

The Horde’s ship buzzed loudly towards its target – the Salineas gate – and Catra passed a hand in her mane. The rattling rhythm of the soldiers’ boots hit the decks, indicating that the battle was about to start. The shore finally stood on the horizon, leaving Hordak’s crew express a cheer joy and, as Catra chose to ignore, bloodthirst. It was always the same with sailors – a happy camaraderie onboard, and savages on land, stealing, drinking, fighting, taking. Taking everything from their peers, from the civilians.

And Catra hated all of it.

The humidity onboard, the rusting weapons, the floating feeling under her feet, the smell of sweat and salt, the gray and brown grub served day and night. The reek of wine barrels and gun powder, the men howling.

Yes, Catra despised sailing.

The sailors announced their arrival with cannon firings right at the Salineas gate – causing a blast on the First One’s gate, shaping the sea into life-threatening waves coming in over the front of the Horde’s vessel.

As time passed, the salt fog mixed with the heavy smell of gun powder, the heat of the battle, and blood. The detonations of the cannons reminded Catra of thunder.

When she was a child, Catra was afraid of thunder. She remembered she would hide under a blanket, Adora braving the darkest moment of the night to cuddle her friend. The rain slapping the metallic roof making the threat bigger and louder and more overwhelming to the little girl – but at least she was with her friend.

Under the thunder of war, Catra had nothing but herself, her heart beating as every single mistake would cost lives, every second would matter, every bullet would have to hit the Alliance targets. Her only friend, at the battle of Salineas, was what was surrounding her, the numb feeling in her toes and hands. Her throat tightening as she saw more and more enemies falling. After so many years in battle, the civilians screaming and begging for their lives didn’t hurt Catra anymore. The only sound that still triggered her fears and anger were the poor victims of hungry sailors.

She always tried her hardest to avoid that, preferred going back to her room, but not today. She couldn’t point a finger on what was changing – it just _felt_ different today.

Catra had always hated the sudden noises. During these moments in the Fright Zone, as a victim of the elements, Catra’s desperate tears kept falling during that sempiternal second of silence – just before that flash of light and thunder roared and tore the skies apart. In that second of silence, so much had always happened.

  
Catra saw the little girl dropping her doll at the sight of the Horde’s battalion rushing – they were ready to kill everyone, including that girl.

How old could have she been? Five? Six at best?

Catra’s memory flew back to the slender, crooked gray fist tightening, pulled suddenly away, back in the Fright Zone, just before she could feel the effects of Shadow Weaver’s dark magic paralyzing her body – the parasitic, unwelcome presence leaving her speechless, defenseless, so mad and terrorized at the same time.

  
Catra wasn’t determined to win that battle anymore. She felt nauseous knowing what would happen to that innocent Salinean girl. She was that little girl once, and she resented that old feeling that nobody came to save her – a feeling she felt growing stronger ever since Adora left the Horde – left _her_. That was part of the horrors of the war. It was a feeling Catra couldn’t get rid of.

_If I can live with it, so can you_ , she frowned at the child in anger. “Force Captain Catra, what are your orders?” _Right?_ “Force Captain,” the voice demanded. “We need to fire.” _Come on, run. Don’t stay there._ “Force Captain –”

“– Catra, are you okay?” Another familiar voice asked, squeezing the magicat’s shoulder. The gesture was gentle, patient, but bursting Catra’s reverie by a gesture so violently unexpected had her hiss at the invisible threat right behind her. Catra jumped forwards instantly, claws out, ready to strike – when she noticed Perfuma’s concerned gaze on her from under, the blonde princess completely at her mercy, Catra on top of them, her body stiffened in a deadly stance. “You look pale… Would you like to sit down for a minute?”

The suddenly frail woman nodded, still shaken by the crippling, vivid memories. She sat down on one of the countless pillows in Perfuma’s room – _this was a mistake. I should never have agreed to talk things out, especially with a princess…_

_They all hate me._

“You weren’t with us for a minute… Did it happen again?”

Catra scoffed bitterly. “They never really left. They’re always here… The nightmares. The flashbacks. The smells… The sounds...” Her voice cracked – hands clawing her scalp, drawing a few drops of blood from here.

“Okay, let’s breathe together, there’s no reason to panic,” Perfuma panicked silently. “As we practiced. I’ll do it with you Catra.”

“Inhale…” _One, two, three, four, five… Block…_ “And exhale _…_ ” _One, two, three, four, five._ “You’re safe here, can you give me a list of five things you can see around you?”

The brunette nodded. That disgustingly pink pillow. The old tree trunk behind Perfuma, holding Plumeria’s Runestone. A cactus in a pot, along with a messy hand note. Perfuma’s patient smile. And… _Scorpia’s jacket?_

Perfuma cleared her throat, clearly blushing. “Four things you can hear?” The river nearby. Birds singing. People laughing together. Melog’s peaceful, sleepy breathing in this big ass tree.

_Three things you can touch_ was asked, to which Catra answered the grass on her feet, the tight clothes almost constricting her chest, the dirt under her claws. She’d have to take a shower again, a less than pleasing thought for the magicat.

She answered soil freshly plowed and chocolate cake to the question “give me two things you can smell”, and herbal tea to “one thing you can taste”.

This was something Perfuma established right away as they started Catra’s therapy sessions – grounding techniques as she called them. Those _bullshit techniques_ – as Catra called them – proved to be efficient despite the former Horde soldier's reluctance. Belly breathing and _stupid descriptions_ related to your senses seemed disturbingly useful to Catra.

“Wanna talk about it?” Perfuma asked, seeing Catra’s shoulders finally relaxing.

“Same old stuff, princess. I’ll pass this time,” the brunette answered. “But I wouldn’t mind some more tea.”

These dull scenes of domesticity wouldn’t fix the problem obviously, but it made Catra feel somehow closer to reality, in a way. And further from Salineas, too.

***  
  
_Bright Moon –_ _Present_

That evening, as she finally arrived in Bright Moon, Mermista acknowledged Catra’s presence with a nod – which was answered to by a wave and a sheepish smile. Catra wondered how the princess of the seas didn’t try to slice her throat just yet, or find any excuse to get into a fight with the ex-Horde soldier who destroyed her entire kingdom and terrorized populations for decades. Worse – she was confronted to the deafening silence of the princess, to her dismiss, to no communication at all. Deep down, Catra wished Mermista would yell at her, splash her with a wave bigger than Sea Hawk’s ego, throw a vase at her. But there was nothing but silence and tension, which would make Catra nauseous, sending her back to the battle of Salineas and all these things she wished she hadn’t done. To all these things she can never change, to those things that made it worse.

Melog meowled their distress, drawing a member of the Best Friend Squad’s attention.

“Hey Catra… Everything okay? Wanna punch at something?”

The magicat retorted “Go away Arrow Boy, you’ve interrupted me enough today,” Bow giving her back a sheepish smile.

“I’m sorry… I knocked, you know, you just didn’t –” the young man cleared his throat. “Anyway. The offer for an escape stays.”

Conflicted, Catra considered the tempting suggestion. On the one hand, she could avoid conflict and let those dumb princesses doing boring, sparkly stuff together. On the other hand, she would be perceived as weak, and Catra just couldn’t deal with that. “Thanks but I’ll destroy your stuff later. Gotta make it through a regal peanut butter and jelly sandwich without being killed first.”

“It can’t be that bad, Catra – we’re not all black or white in this war. We had to do things we’re not proud of,” he answered, trying to reassure his friend as best as he could.

“And what’s the great evil you had to do during that time? Put on a normal, long-sleeved shirt? Glasses, so nobody suspects you’re an archer in disguise?” She retorted, arms crossed and tail swinging back and forth, brow furrowed.

“I – That’s not the point Catra, I’m just trying to help, okay?” Bow groaned, his frustration growing.

_I know, dumbass_. “Okay. I’m… Sorry. I…” she sighed. It was still hard for the magicat to talk about her emotions. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”

“It’s okay as long as you keep trying, Catra.”

“I… appreciate the offer.” _The things you do to get people in a good mood…_ The smaller woman thought. “Let’s just get this over with… The sooner we have dinner, the sooner I can leave this place.”

“Okay. Let’s meet in the gardens after dusk?” Bow offered.

Catra nodded, quietly accepting the suggestion.

It was just dinner, after all. What could go wrong?

-

“Listen, _everything_ went wrong!”

“Catra –”

“You know I’m right Bow!”

Finger rose in the air, the archer was about to protest when the realization slapped him in the face. “You… You called me Bow. Not Dumb-face or Arrow Boy or Dimwit but Bow I –” Eyes sparkling with pride, he stopped talking, a hand covering his mouth. And this was just _so not_ the moment. “Okay.” A loud sniff – and a determined face portrayed Bow in the dark of the night, lit by the dancing will-o’-the-wisps that constituted the lightings of the royal gardens.

“Are you done?”

“Yes. For now.”

“So.”

“So you said hi to Mermista, tried to talk to her, to apologize, you mentioned your written apologies and nothing.”

“You forgot to mention the moment when my glass of water spilled on me. And I wasn’t even touching it.”

“That… Could have been an accident.”

“Again, Dummy. Not touching it.”

“A clumsy move from Adora?”

“Doesn’t check out. Adora was trying to use her fork for the last grains of rice on her plate.”

“Earthquake…?”

“Mermista laughed when the water soaked my clothes.” Bow pinched his lips together, not saying anything. Catra lost patience – Her ears low and her tail tucked under her legs. “I _know_ I deserve it.”

_T_ _hat feeling in my stomach again…_ she noticed. Shame? Fear? Catra didn’t know, but the feeling was there, and it was uncomfortable. And she wanted to make it go.

The gentle squeeze on Catra’s crossed arms felt familiar – welcome, even, for once. Not that she would confess – even in a life and death situation. “Hey… Give her time, okay? She’ll come around. Keep trying, and Mermista will warm up to you.”

The magicat sighed. “You promise?”

“I promise, Catra.”

She inhaled slowly – as Perfuma taught her. The cold air sliding down her tight throat burned her, and her muscles screamed, begging her to run away. Catra was a trembling mess, and tears threatened to spill down. But her heavy heart chose to listen to Bow’s comforting words, and he said that things would be okay. The small woman lifted her eyes towards her friend and breathed one more time – before she finally met his gaze. “… Okay.”

Bow smiled reassuringly and squeezed Catra’s arm tighter before he started stepping away.

“– Bow? Can you stay with me please? Just five more minutes? I’m not ready to socialize yet.”

The young man grinned at Catra. “Sure,” he said, and he stayed with her, his eyes wandering and following the dancing lights in the air.

"And Bow?"

"Yeah?" 

“Don’t tell Glimmer and Adora I asked you to stay.”

Bow scoffed, relaxed, and sat down in the grass – lulled by the gentle breeze in his hair. “I wouldn’t dare tarnish your reputation.”

The two relaxed in comfortable silence, Catra somehow feeling better. She wasn’t there yet, but the path to redemption was close enough.

She would work hard to make it up to Etheria.

And _thankfully_ , she wasn’t alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any incoherences, I'm sick and exhausted and I'm heading to bed now without a beta-reader this time. Stay safe y'all <3


	7. Chapter 7

“Okay, I think we’re ready to go,” Bow said, checking the council room. The Best Friend Squad – Adora, Glimmer and Bow – and Entrapta would be ready to head to space. The plan was to send the four horsemen of the apocalypse on the Velvet Glove, Prime’s spaceship, and have Entrapta establish contact with Etheria before going further in space. The four people would be gone for three months at best, for a longer time if the diplomatic mission didn’t succeed.

They would all have pads to communicate with each other obviously, but it was just _not the same_. Why videocall your girlfriend when you could cuddle her every morning?

_I just got you back and you’re already leaving again…_ Catra thought to herself, watching Adora pace around the room. She held herself tighter, tail swinging expressing her nervousness. She didn’t like being alone, but clearly hated being lonely, of all things. And that would be her state for the next three months if not more, apparently.

Angella walked in the room, her face clearly marked by months if not years of a frugal way of life after all this time spent in the multidimensional Brightmoon Catra saved her from – after sending her in – fixing one of her past mistakes. “You shall say goodbye to your friends and family in a proper manner, I give you thirty minutes before departure. Make these matter and I’ll see you embark on Darla in half an hour. Dismiss,” she added formally, before she rushed to hug Glimmer and Bow. Adora earned a hug from the angel as well, before she whispered something only the blonde woman could hear. Adora smiled at that, nodded and walked towards Catra.

“Hey babe,” Adora smiled.

“Hey Adora,” Catra answered with a smile. This was their routine, and even though she was smiling at that moment, she couldn’t help but feel her throat tighten at that. She would miss saying it, especially waking up in the morning.

“Can I steal you for a few minutes?” she asked, offering her hand, and Catra scoffed, taking it with hers.

“Dunno, can you?”

Adora chuckled. “I don’t want to kiss you in front of everyone, we’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Oh, so you want to bring me to a dark and creepy corner just like the old times? Don’t forget it has to smell like mildew and teen sweat.”

The taller woman brushed the snark with the squeeze of her hand in Catra’s and led them in their room, sitting on the bed. The magicat mimicked her and sat down next to her, putting her second hand on Adora’s and touching their foreheads together.

“Last time we couldn’t say goodbye properly and – I don’t think I can go through this all over again. Catra I… I’m going to miss you.”

The brunette’s throat tightened. _Of course, she would play the fixing-things card now_. Catra lowered her head, focusing on Adora’s hand, the warmth of her calloused hands, her scent, all that made Adora _her girlfriend_. The woman she’s always loved, her best friend, her partner in crime. She couldn’t say that she was going to miss her too, because that would make the departure real, she would really go, and Catra would end up lonely in their bed with sheets smelling like Adora, but she couldn’t hug her right after. And it wasn’t fair.

“Catra…” Adora’s hand cupped her cheek reverently, trying to imprint every little detail of the magicat, her freckles, her growing – and messy - mane, any little detail she could think of. “Can I kiss you? Please?”

Catra nodded, tears threatening to roll down her cheeks. This sounded like a goodbye and she hated every second of it as much as she tried to make every moment spent alone with Adora a treasure she would cherish until the return of her favorite blonde.

Their lips brushed and Adora probably felt Catra’s chapped lips as much as the brunette could taste the remnants of a donut icing on the corner of her lips – she loved the food and wanted to enjoy it before turning back to dehydrated slaw and nutrient gels, Catra figured. The kiss was gentle, too gentle compared to the silent goodbye the two women were saying to each other, the primal need for _more_ , the twist in their guts attracting them to the other. Soon, their kiss heated, tongues playing together, and the two women found themselves sharing a kiss mixed with their tears. Their silent farewell was also an equally silent promise, a promise to find each other again like they always did, a silent “come back to me”, and they both intended to keep their promise.

When they finally broke the kiss, out of breath, Catra squeezed Adora’s hand tighter. They didn’t need words to understand each other, and the salty tears rolling down their cheeks said enough.

“I’m going to miss you.”

“Hush. Can’t be real if we don’t talk about _that_.”

“Catra…” Adora begged, her voice cracking.

“You better come back or I’ll come get your ass, and I already did it once. Don’t make me do it again.” Catra whispered. It was more of a plea than a whisper, and Adora would happily oblige if she had any say on the matter.

They stayed in each other’s embrace for who knows how long, and the clock was ticking against them. _Screw departures and mandatory trips…_

“I probably should go soon, babe”

“No…” Catra began sobbing uncontrollably, that knot in her throat getting bigger and bigger.

“I’ll call you everyday, okay?”

“Adora…”

A soft knock on the door and a voice announced that everyone would have to leave in five minutes, which would leave just enough time to calm down and pretend they didn’t cry at all. When they finally managed to wipe their tears and their face didn’t break again, Adora stood up and made her way to the door when Catra stopped her in her tracks, hand in hand.

“Adora?”

“Yeah?” she asked, turning to her girlfriend.

When Catra was shy, her eyes always looked at her surroundings: the ceiling, the floor, their hands intertwined – and this time it was the fountain in their room. She was blushing slightly, ears pulled back, showing the magicat’s vulnerability.

“Come back, okay?”

“Of course –”

“I don’t want to lose you. Not again.” Catra confessed. “Not ever,” she added, kissing Adora’s forehead.

Adora felt her cheeks warm up to her ears. Catra _never_ confessed thoughts as intimate as this one, and this just proved how the brunette was willing to change – not for Adora, but for herself.

“You won’t. I’m still going to annoy you for a few years, you can’t get rid of me that easily, okay?”

“…Okay.”

“I promise,” Adora squeezed Catra’s hand tighter.

This seemed to convince Catra, who relaxed her shoulders a little at that.

Another knock – less patient than the first one, probably Glimmer – was heard, signaling they were already late.

When Darla took off with the crew on board, the people who stayed on Etheria watched the ship disappear into the starry sky.

Catra murmured “I’ll miss you too” as she watched the old First Ones ship leave their atmosphere for spatial adventures.

Angella made sure her footsteps were heard so Catra wouldn’t be afraid, making her way in the grass in a gracious manner.

“Micah and I will have dinner with Spinerella and Netossa tonight, Mermista is most likely going on a date night with Sea Hawk so it would be just us old people and you, Catra. Would you like to join us? I can have the chef prepare one of Seaworthy’s specialty, you seem to enjoy their sea bass with lemon garlic herbs.”

“Thank you Angella, but I don’t really feel hungry tonight.”

The former queen then proceeded to lay down in the royal garden’s grass. It wasn’t the Queen Mother speaking to Catra, it was Angella the woman. “You know, when I lost Micah… I wasn’t hungry either. And I was told Netossa wasn’t feeling well when her wife was chipped by Horde Prime. I believe spending company with people who shared that sense of loss would be good to help you, but you are free to spend the evening in your quarters as well. The offer stays, but we can see you next morning instead. It’s your choice on that matter, Catra, and it’ll be respected without question.”

Catra perked an ear up. Maybe it would be good for her. But maybe Adora would call that night.

She nodded. _Maybe_ it would be good, maybe not, but there was only one way to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear internet readers and happy new year! Let's hope this one will be better than the previous, and I hope that you guys, gals and nonbinary pals will get what you want and deserve this year: more kudos and comments on your fics, a She-Ra movie, for your crush to answer yes to going out with you (do it safely kids, masks on!), or even better, going to the bar/a concert again. Who knows what this year reserves us. 
> 
> I'm sorry I didn't update sooner, Christmas holidays had me all busy and tired but I'm back... For now. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you soon for the next update! 🤗


	8. Chapter 8

Part two – Standing alone

_Screaming at the world_

“ _Who's ready for a goddamn change?”_

_Am I the fool keeping it all together now?_

_I'm tired of the voice of reason_

_I'm trying, but I just can't please 'em_

“Darla you copying our residuals?”.

“Affirmative.”

“Adora – looked like we saw about 87 or 88 psi on chamber pressure that time. I’d like you to look at that on the command center please. Bow there’s a real-time telemetry we saw 95 to 97 psi on chamber pressure. Look at the recordings down there and get back with me again, do you copy?”

“We’ll… Take a look at that and get back in a few minutes.” Adora answered, pulling Bow by his arm in the corridors. When the door closed, she narrowed her eyes at her friend, body tensing so hard she could _feel_ she had a knot forming in the crook of her neck already, and they hadn’t even reached the Velvet Glove. “What. The fuck. Did Entrapta say? What’s a residual? Telemetry?!”

“I have no idea okay!” Bow shrugged theatrically, his blonde friend’s hand still grabbing his crop top. “Just pretend you did what she asked for!”

The best idea Adora had to pretend she was doing as she was told was to hammer the metallic walls of Darla, the vibrations rattling and echoing like a song in canon – Bow blowing the trumpets of Jericho by screaming tech nonsense.

“Can’t a girl rest without you two gremlins trying to wreck the ship?!” was the shout heard by the two members of the Best Friend Squad when Glimmer popped out of nowhere, surprising Bow so hard he jumped in Adora’s arms, who dropped the hammer on her foot; having her hopping in circles around the small-yet-so-imposing shape of a very cranky Glimmer.

“Greetings, Best Friends Squad,” Darla’s lifeless voice interrupted them – Glimmer joining Bow in Adora’s arm, the blonde’s imbalance of her single foot touching the floor having them all fall in a tangle of limbs. “Entrapta is waiting for you at the command center.”

The trio looked at each other with apprehension and all walked hand in hand to Entrapta’s quarters.

“Friends, I’ve noticed a failure in human to human communication – do you know what I was referring to when I asked about psi?”

“...No,” Adora confessed.

“Ah, this would explain the rupture in fluent communication,” Entrapta thought to herself out loud. “I should add this to my research on language.” She grumbled something about linguistics and exploring semantics to her voice recorder, before she turned her body to face the chaotic trio of adventurers. “it’s a unit of pressure. This is – _this_ button,” the princess of Dryl pointed at a little red dot right under that circular dial she called a pressure gauge. “You check the number and tell me if it goes in the red part okay?”

Focus on the red part. That was something the incarnation of She-Ra could do.

“How is it called again?!” she asked two minutes later in a burst of panic.

The rest of the flight to Prime’s ship consisted of Entrapta and Bow writing down sticky notes on each name of the engines Darla’s squad would have to check on regularly, and Glimmer trying to canalize Adora’s energy – in vain.

The Velvet Glove was still standing on its own despite growing its own inner jungle a few months after Prime’s defeat, but even Entrapta wasn’t able to give a reason to _why_ it was still standing. The exploration of the spaceship revealed the reactors were blocked by kilometers of tangled roots, the tree mass preventing any kind of light to pierce through the branches, and the squad’s torches could only do so much. In that room filled with a basin of green fluids, the air felt cold – colder, deader than the aseptic visit the squad paid when they saved Catra from Prime’s claws – and everything was quieter than usual, even for space.

_Catra…_ Adora remembered her girlfriend confessing she still had flashes of that basin, of the moments she would feel the thick fluids burn her lungs and throat, pass through her nostrils as she was drowning in the sticky green. The blonde remembered holding Catra’s hands, trying her best to comfort the magicat that this story was behind them now.

But the story wasn’t behind Adora – it was right in front of her.

And she, somehow, was glad Catra didn’t have to stare at the same scene, the still-life wreck of rusting mechanic tools and the thick vegetation shielding the amniotic pool from sunlight, the mutating weeds turning from a comfortable blue to an incandescent red thumping and flashing with each adventurer’s step, as if triggered by the sounds of space boots. A hand squeezed Adora’s shoulder and she gasped, her attention taken away from this bizarre sight.

“Are you okay, Adora?”

“That’s where Prime tortured her,” she retorted bitterly. “She… Still has nightmares from that pool.”

“Prime is gone. You stopped him. He can’t hurt her anymore.”

The blonde’s throat tightened and it suddenly became hard for her to gulp without hurting, her eyes unexpectedly burning from the corners.

_There’s no time to waste being sentimental, and Glimmer is right. He can’t hurt Catra anymore…_ she thought to herself, brushing away the emotions. There were more important things to focus on than her own feelings on that mission. Like finding the command center, whatever Entrapta asked so they could fly away from there soon enough.

The geek princess – thankfully – wrote down the Glove’s map on her tracker, pulling the information from Wrong Hordak’s microchip. Angella and Entrapta had discussed the possibility of having him onboard, and ‘Trapta had won the argument saying that a Prime clone could grant access to some of Prime’s data, opening the possibilities to a great scientific progress and borrowing some of the enemy’s tech to improve Etheria’s well-being – leading to a new addition to this adventure, although Wrong Hordak expressed that he felt better hiding in the kitchens than going anywhere else.

The squad followed the tracker’s indications – up to the ship’s command center. For a moment, Adora stood in front of it thinking to herself. Could it still work despite the overall state of this space junk?

To prove Adora’s point, a loud, metallic shrink tore the silence apart, having a few pairs of eyes focus on the purple haired woman, busy trying to power up the broken commands.

“En...Trapta? What – what was that?” Bow dared to ask.

“The sound? It’s the ship shrinking. Why?”

“Shrinking as in _falling apart_?” Glimmer asked for clarification.

“Yes,” was the answer none of the squad members hoped to hear, but was there anyway.

This wasn’t helping Glimmer’s personal mission of calming Adora down, and Bow started laughing nervously. “What are we doing here, then?!”

“Bow, we’re here for the data. Give me a hand, please bring your flashlight in that direction for me – perfect!” the scientist happily said. At least one of them had a fun time there.

It took a few more minutes and a few more rumblings of the whole carcass before a beep broke the silence, followed by an excited shout and the main screen lighting up.

So this thing _did work_ after all.

It worked so well Entrapta established contact with Etheria – she managed to reach Beast Island’s First Ones base as well as Hordak fulfilling his community work there. From what it was decided, he was stationed in Beast Island to collect data and basically try to survive down there, armed with a few notes from Micah and a simple machete so he could make it, and he apparently did so far.

There was a thing between Entrapta and Hordak, and Adora would find it cute had the guy not tried to conquer Etheria, enrolled orphan children in a war they knew nothing about, or gave Catra the right for a lifetime of therapy. She probably earned her own ticket for that one too, but therapy could wait until she’s back home.

“Hordak! It’s been so long… How have you been? Is Michelle treating you right?”

“Is it the name you’ve given to the robot that keeps protecting me?”

“Yes! She’s Emily little sister, and she was my best friend there – I miss her,” Entrapta smiled fondly at the memory.

“What can I do for you, Entrapta?” Hordak asked.

“Okay, I’m going to reuse Prime’s neural pattern to establish a peer-to-peer connection between Darla, Beast Island and the Glove. Each princess should be able to receive a message on their tracker pads as well.” The geek princess stuck her tongue out, deliberately ignoring the ship falling apart from all sides in a long screech, focused on her task. “Wrong Hordak, do you hear me?”

“Yes – Entrapta the ship will crash down soon! You need to get out of there!”

The ecstatic princess jumped, visibly unaware of the sword of Damocles over their heads. “Okay, now let me – hey!” she shouted, as Glimmer pulled her away from the screen.

“Entrapta, I won’t be able to teleport you back to Darla if you take too long! We need to go!”

“I’m almost done – we can help Etheria with the data!”

“Entrapta, please!” Bow pleaded.

Oh, how Adora wished time would stop at this very moment. She could take time to calculate the risks, see what’s good and what’s bad in each situation, explore the possibilities. But the ship was about to crash, and the squad was rather far away from Darla. So Adora did what the Best Friend Squad always did best – _improvise_.

“Glimmer, Bow, go back to Darla’s command center. Send a message to Etheria that debris of the ship might land down there. Have them evacuate the perimeter if needed,” the blonde urged. “I’ll stay with Entrapta as long as we can, maybe She-Ra can help us out if we need her.”

The two nodded, their faces clearly indicating “I don’t like it”, but still willing to try. Glimmer and Bow ran back to Mara’s ship, leaving Entrapta and Adora behind.

“How long before we can leave, ‘Trapta?”

“We need to upload these files in the cloud – this should take five minutes!”

A large metallic piece of the ceiling – the upper floor’s corridor – fell right to Adora’s right, spreading dust in the room still vibrating because of the aftershocks. When Adora looked at the screen, the upload seemed stuck at 33% – and she shouted at the useless machine “Anytime now!”

The computer seemed frozen on those 33% for a few more precious minutes.

“Entrapta what’s happening? Why is it frozen?”

“I don’t know! But there’s something I can try –”

“THEN DO IT! NOW!” Adora howled.

Entrapta lifted one of her feet and kicked the machine so hard the whole thing shut down for a second, before it rebooted and uploaded faster than ever. When the files hit 100% and Entrapta manually closed the command exec, the part of the room to their right tore apart, creating a crevice to the level under them – with more of that disgusting fluid. Adora grabbed Entrapta’s hand and rushed to their ship – the Glove’s crushing down behind them. The loud thugs and bangs countered with the radio silence they had from Mara’s ship or from Etheria – It was just the two of them running for their lives.

_The usual_ , Adora found herself thinking at that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are y'all ready for part 2 kids? Because I'm not!
> 
> Comments, kudos, sugar income all welcome to help me create that one serotonin my brain never dared to produce - Have a good days sweetie pies <3 
> 
> Bonus points for whoever got the easter eggs right 👀


	9. Chapter 9

Operation Beehive, Day 3 – En route to Doradus Prime 21

19:57 Brightmoon (BMN), Etheria base time

“The ship collapsed in on itself, I couldn’t… I couldn’t find it. Your mask, I –”

“It’s okay Adora, it was just scrap metal.”

“No, it was more – I’m so sorry Catra…” Adora kept apologizing. She kept saying how sorry she was, and she really was concerned.

The worst of all things was that Catra was understanding. Not mad, even. Catra, her girlfriend, the very same woman who would have – and did – cross the whole planet just to see her again, who got mad at the silliest things, wasn’t mad. Maybe Adora would’ve preferred that. She couldn’t bear the lack of response, the past fire of a solid yelling. She  _ knew _ she deserved it. She suddenly realized – she  _ wanted _ to take the blame.

Because it was easier. When she was blamed for something, she had a goal – to fix it. Fix the mistakes, hers or someone else’s, it gave her a purpose. But all she had now, and maybe that was a new level of violence she wasn’t prepared for, was Catra’s deep sadness and comprehension.

Adora bit her lip. She tried her hardest not to show her feelings but the signs couldn’t lie. Her usually sparkly eyes were red and puffy and framed with deep dark circles. She was pale, and her usually neatly tight hair was a mess of tangles, even for a space trip.

“It’s not the most important. You’re safe… The rest is material,” Catra offered. “I don’t care about it. It… represents someone I’m not anymore.”

Adora couldn’t answer that, her heart too heavy with emotion.

“Adora…”

“Yeah?”

“Things are going crazy here,” Catra gulped with clear difficulty. “The Fright Zone was reclaimed by a group of Etherian independentists. They’re rejecting royalty, and they took the Zone by force. They want Entrapta to abdicate. The people are mad… They want to exile Scorpia, saying she belongs to a family of traitors and she can’t reclaim the Zone back,” she scratched the back of her neck, like she always did when she was nervous.

Catra went on with the details – How several groups rose all over Etheria, voicing their rejection of diverse authorities. How the villages claimed their independence, and the tensions it created between the Princess Alliance and the villagers. Princesses like Perfuma granted independence under the condition of a tutored transfer of power. While she claimed – and Catra believed her – it would help the rising communities learn the basics of financial sustainability in a complex post-war situation, the insurgents retorted it was a form of power, and rejected any help. Some communities made it through the mess with adjustments, and others like the village of Eryngium responded to Perfuma’s help with weapons. Catra also told Adora about the increasingly annoying actions made against the princesses, the carriages of supplies attacked by bandits or simply stopped before they could reach any castle. The stocks of food reduced by half – post-war, it really wasn’t much – for the diverse kingdoms. And, on top of that, the threat of Prime’s ship crashing on the Salinean quadrant.

Adora asked if they needed help down there, if the mission had to be postponed. But Catra said that no, bringing magic back to the universe was more important, and the other princesses were in the area if Mermista ever needed help – just in case. Regarding the verge-of-a-civil-war situation, Catra claimed she was a master strategist – and she was – so a few civilians insulting her in the city she once conquered wouldn’t scare her. Especially with Angella sticking around, as she said herself.

Onboard Mara’s ship, the situation wasn’t much better. Entrapta managed to download and transfer enough data to map their trip and divide it into circles – the first circle would cover four different planets they’d be able to help as well as their three satellites – the ones that weren’t destroyed by Prime’s greed – beginning with Doradus Prime 21 (did Adora  _ hate _ that name), where the Star Siblings were waiting for them. The second circle as Entrapta called it was several light years away, covering a few dozen planets. The third circle was considered still expanding by the Dryl princess, leaving a certain room to the unknown Adora wasn’t fond of. Given that Darla was just a miraculously flying hunk of junk, the Space Crew would only be able to cover the first circle of planets before turning back to Etheria three months later.

That was supposed to give the space team enough time to reestablish freedom on a few territories, coming back as heroes.

_ But what kind of hero gave up on their people and went to space, leaving everything – and  _ everyone _ – behind? _

\---

Operation Beehive, Day 7 – Arrival to Doradus Prime 21

09:33 BMN, Etheria base time

“Guys!” Entrapta announced through the ship’s speakers, a new feature she installed on Darla to ‘spread information more efficiently’ as she said herself, “I’m about to decrease the ship’s hyperspeed to only a few thousand kilometers per hour. Doradus is in our perimeter,” the self-proclaimed co-pilot announced. “Buckle up and get ready for a hoop de loop!”

Adora chuckled as she heard simultaneously a loud “FUCK” and “NOT NOW” coming from the showers. She made her way trotting across the corridors to sit on the pilot’s semi-automatic command center seat, briefly missing the ghost of her girlfriend shouting a dorky ‘Yeah Adora, concentrate!’ months ago. She should call Catra once they land. They’d called the day before but she was still missing her, always, and especially on mornings like that.

Darla’s pace decreased a little abruptly – landing was always harder than getting off the ground – moving a few items across the room, letting a certain Wrong Hordak complain that Entrapta should be more  _ delicate _ in her maneuvers.

After days and days of floating at the same speed and same altitude, the crew’s bodies got used to it, making the changes a little rough for everyone. First came the stomach drop, giving Adora the impression she was falling – heart bumping, legs shaking and breath stopping – only for the ship’s turbulences to shake it all off in favor of a full-ride on adrenaline and anxiety. Slowing Darla down was loud and sounded like the metallic walls would fall apart, increasing the echoes and waves shaking on each other, bouncing and making Adora’s grasp on the armrests of her seat tighter.

The blinding lights across the windows became stars again as they finally reached the aimed speed of 5000 kilometers per hour  _ only _ , the flying junk’s last loud shakes and jumps calming down. A minute later, Glimmer and Bow arrived, bruised and half-naked – partly from their makeout session in the showers and partly because of the machine’s upheavals – and gave Adora a sheepish smile and a wave. She waved back, pushing the endless teasing for later.

Bow’s gaze turned on the planet in front of them, the first defined form they’ve seen since leaving Etheria a week ago. “Wow…”

“Is this Doradus…?” Glimmer asked.

“The one and only, friend!” Entrapta grinned.

“It looks… Purple. And damaged.”

Adora was right in that statement. A deep purple fog covered the Doradian lands, only contrasted by the white flashes of a nasty storm down the planet’s atmosphere. The eye of a cyclone was starting to form – and this was the sign of a large amount of water – which meant a  _ bumpy _ landing for the space crew at the very least.

  
  


Still. Entrapta was more than determined to succeed.

A few Fucks from Glimmer and scratches on the vessel later, she did.

Darla landed safely in the city registered as Adminos AS-ISO in Entrapta’s tracking device. The crew was greeted by the Star Siblings with warmth and endless smiles, promises of great interplanetary partnerships together, and most importantly a great buffet for dinner, welcoming the heroes who got rid of Horde Prime’s claws.

The crew was introduced to the most important strategists of the Rebellion on Doradus, met with a few locals, and decided they would stay long enough to bring back magic to the world – and have another night just to relax before going again. Adora granted the crew free time until their meeting at 8 pm, giving her time to write about her adventures and hopefully call Catra if she wasn’t too busy. She liked to keep a real book instead of the trackpad to write down what she had in mind, so she could doodle a few things in the margins of her book. New plants, animals, cities: they all had an interest in the incarnation of She-Ra, a certain amount of data she couldn’t afford to ignore.

_ Operation Beehive, Day 7 – Arrival at Doradus Prime 21 _

_ We arrived safely at Doradus Prime, in the city of Adminos. We were greeted by the Star siblings and talked a lot about our past encounter. They led the Rebellion on Doradus and fought Prime’s forces down there. _

_ The camps were kept as neat as the situation allowed it, the ruins of what was probably a major city of the planet reduced to ruins and long-extinct fires. It feels cold here, but I have no idea if the planet is like that or if we’ve been onboard Darla for too long. Walking here feels heavy. My head aches and I feel sore, and I don’t know why. The atmosphere is dark and heavy, I’ve been told we arrived during monsoon season. Lots of water for a few weeks, and then they’re back to what sounds like sunny weather all year long apparently. There’s not much grass here. Weirdly colored fungi (a weird blue) and fluorescent red branches that look like dry bushes or corals, rising up. I saw several types of insects, larvae, cockroaches and other species I couldn’t recognize. This seems to be the major source of fresh food during this time here. The people seem to stock cans and dried food to make it through the year’s weather. The people are nice here. Friendly. I wish Catra was here – she’d love to mess with Tallstar. Probably destroy a few ruins and kick old potteries. _

_ I couldn’t help but notice how tired they looked, thinner, older even. Starla’s contagious lightheartedness disappeared since the last time I saw her. She looks… Pale? And numb. Jewelstar said she’s been like this since Glory sacrificed itself to save her from a deadly shot. _

_ J told me it was during Prime’s final battle. He was obviously mad at Etheria’s whole population and concentrated his armada there, but the war on our planet accentuated Prime’s wrath on the others, too. Militias tried to fight against Prime here, but there were just so many clones. Entire cities were wiped out, I could still see how the landscapes were damaged because of all the bombs against the Rebellion. The lands will be changed forever here, I saw a flat country from the skies and now I see valleys and hills and an abyss created by the bombs. I can still see the remnants of histories, the soldiers sleeping forever down there. The fading rugs around their bodies, weapons as sole companions. _

_ I want to help, I want to fix this. But I don’t know… I don’t know how to fix broken hearts. Or a genocide. _

_ How am I supposed to fix it? _

_ What good is She-Ra, when all I see is destruction and pain around her blade? _

_ What good am I? _

Adora stopped writing, anger and grief taking over subjective descriptions of foreign planets. She wiped the tears she didn’t notice were running until one stained her notes, and closed her book, leaving the pen stuck between the pages.

The blonde took a moment to breathe, to calm down and try to hide her puffy eyes. She grabbed her trackpad, and started writing to Catra.

_ Are you busy now, babe? I have free time and I’d like to see you _

The answer came almost instantly, faster than Catra usually was.

Adora smiled, at least seeing her girlfriend would be a nice change.

“Hey Adora,” Catra smiled at the trackpad as their call started. “It’s nice to see your dummy face again.”

“Hey babe,” the blonde answered. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too. How’s Doradus?” the brunette asked, gently smiling at her lover, concern hidden on her face. Adora knew her girlfriend’s reactions, she had for years now. Catra was playing it cool, but she was worried, and it showed.

“It’s… Different. I’m glad we finally landed, I was getting sick of dehydrated slaw, I’ll be happy to eat something consistent tonight.”

The girls giggled. Making fun of Adora’s gargantuan appetite was always a mood lifter, and the blonde loved to see Catra laugh.

“Don’t talk too fast. Imagine it’s  _ fish _ . And I’m not here to help you out with this one.”

Adora winced. “Yikes. I really hope not.”

It felt good to finally talk to Catra. It’s been less than 24 hours since they last talked but it always felt good. Like coming back home after a day of hard work. They didn’t have to be always happy or talking or doing stuff together, just hanging out was enough.

Adora had missed that feeling the past few years, but it felt so good to have it back.

To have  _ her _ back.

The two women exchanged about lighthearted topics. How Glimbow – that’s how Catra called the couple – had stayed stuck to each other for so long they just merged into one entity for the magicat now, and the rest of the princesses just adopted the nickname. How they kept being surprised by Entrapta’s experiments during a makeout session, how Angella was suspiciously nice to Catra, how Micah was the perfect man to roast Shadow Weaver with.

Catra talked about the community work she had to do in Salineas, how she was held in greasy kitchens for now, cleaning mountains of dishes. She had a theory that Mermista threw her in the castle’s dishwashing area because she hated water and the sea princess knew it. It was a harmless punishment, annoying enough to satisfy Mermista’s need to take revenge on Catra, the force captain who took over her home by force, and it was a job lonely and busy enough for Catra to find content in avoiding people and being useful. It was almost worth the occasional broken claws and hands so red they looked like cooked lobsters by the end of the day. Sure, it was speedy sometimes, but at least Catra wasn’t in contact with anyone other than the loud brigade of the royal kitchens, half of the crew being retired pirates, so they didn’t care about who she was. They understood Catra’s place. There was no judgment with them, and it was a nice change.

Adora found comfort in that statement. She was worried Catra wouldn’t be able to make friends easily given some people had a hard time forgiving others, but seeing it was different Adora felt relieved. Still, Catra didn’t  _ seem _ happy. But Adora didn’t push it. She knew her girlfriend would talk about it when she feels ready.

For now, the most important was that they were together. Not physically obviously, not yet, but at least they were talking and spending time together thanks to the trackpads.

Catra inhaled. It looked like she was about to say something – but suddenly her eyes froze and her ear twitched, pupils looking like small dots. She looked away, somewhere Adora couldn’t see due to the limitations of the trackpad – and because she was just human. Magicats had enhanced senses, and could  _ sense _ the danger miles away.

“I gotta go –” “– Go. Love you Cat,” both said simultaneously.

“Love you too” Catra urged.

A clatter of metal and wood burst on Catra’s right side, having her jump with the sudden noise. Adora was useless, just watched her girlfriend half panicking, half turning back to Force Captain mode.

“Come on Horde runt, the Glove is falling!” the blonde heard Mermista shout.

The last image Adora saw was Catra’s frown shutting off the pad.

“Come back safe,” the blonde added, her gaze lost on the blank screen.

And once again, the silence around her became deafening.

\---

Day 7 of community work – Salineas

16:02 BMN, Etheria base time

“Horde runt? That’s a new one,” Catra chuckled. Luckily, she was still in work clothes, meaning she was operational for deployment on their mission. She and Mermista sprinted to the closest ship, as Prime’s vessel was estimated to crash between Seaworthy and Salineas, potentially damaging the cities and causing civilian casualties. Out of the question to let it happen as the Sea princess pointed out.

“You’re a midget, you’re so used to fighting you bite everyone in your personal space and nobody likes you,” Mermista managed to phrase while running to Sea Hawk’s Dragon’s Daughter V.

“Makes sense,” the brunette shrugged it out with a smirk.

The three companions sailed in silence, Hawk giving orders here and there. Catra tried her best to hide her discomfort on board the ship, the scars of her last visit to Salineas under the Horde’s flag still vivid in her memory. It wasn’t hard to notice the Glove above their heads – the once threatening vessel had shattered into dozens of incandescent pieces, meteors threatening the seas and lands around the Dragon Daughter’s crew.  _ It would have been cool to see it at night if it wasn’t threatening to hurt the civilians _ , the magicat thought.

  
  


The muffled sound of the engine buzzed above their heads – and Catra gulped.

She  _ really _ didn’t want to get that close to the Glove again, because of the flashes still thriving in her mind day and night. The ship was breaking apart above the city she once conquered… At least this time, she was on the right side of the story. She was afraid, of course. But this time, Catra would fix it.

“Holy fuck it’s –”

The sea princess shouted at her tracking pad “Mermista at all princesses – the Glove is crashing on the Seaworthy border! We need backup! Now!”

The first debris impacted the tranquil ocean surrounding them. The water rose and formed a wave crest, making its way to the shore – Fast.

“Mermista!” Catra pointed to the coast, “the civilians!”

“Fuck –” the mermaid gasped, “Evacuate the shores!” she demanded her soldiers on the pad.

The mermen obeyed, evacuating the few villagers gathering seafood by hand. The few people were moved to safety within minutes and the first ripples hit the pink sand a few miles away.

Catra knew, when she lifted her head, this was only the beginning.

The worst was about to come. The lower spire of the Glove followed the first fragments, sinking by half before it went crashing down on land. The metal shrunk in a screeching noise. A large cloud of sand filled the air. All she could hear was the spire crashing. The metal destroyed absolutely everything it entered in contact with. The war sirens of Seaworthy… They were so loud.

Catra could hear the civilians screaming in terror.

Or the tidal waves crushing any remnants of life on the shore.

The Dragon’s Daughter made it through the 12 feet tall surges with ease, which surprised Catra.

She wasn’t so sure about the following waves – it was the main part of the alien vessel’s turn to sink in – and the impact was widely destructive. The battleship buried itself mostly on land and the tremors that followed only worsened the rippling effect of the sea, decimating everything where it passed.

What used to look like a pink beach and its azure soothing lapping had turned into a brownish mix of matchsticks that used to be trees and homes – mixed with the lifeless metal Prime loved so much, the shards of glass going into several directions, becoming lethal invisible shrapnel in the perimeter.

And the ship – the crash didn’t stop it from sliding on land, marking its way down the earth like Etheria had never known – was making furrows, reaching Seaworthy Harbor.

A deep and dark fog expanded around the crash zone, hiding the raging black waves of the ocean. Catra didn’t know if they were still waves given how  _ big _ they were. 30 feet? 40?

This couldn’t be good – everybody knew it.

Sea Hawk took advantage of the next tide to accelerate the ship’s way to Seaworthy, boosted by Mermista’s water control. The Dragon’s Daughter was fast, things would be in control soon, the former Horde soldier thought – most civilians were already gone, the few remaining ones had been put to safety. This was a scary crash, but there were no human casualties. Buildings could be made again, and the magicat was in the kingdom of Salineas for that.

The irony struck her instantly.

As if this wasn’t apocalyptic enough, the remnants of the vessel started exploding, sending shards of wood – thanks to She-Ra’s magic covering the metal with vegetation – and scrap metal everywhere.

‘Everywhere’ included right at Sea Hawk’s sailing boat.

“Hawk! Starboard!” Catra shouted, but it was too late for the boat to avoid the impressive – to say the least – rusting scrap that once belonged to the Glove, and Mermista was in its trajectory.

Without thinking, the magicat ran and pushed Mermista overboard. She didn’t feel the metal cut through her shoulder like butter, but rather felt the slap of water against her skin.

_ That had to be the most magistral belly flop ever _ , Catra thought – almost chuckled, had it not been for the piece of metal sinking her down the sea.

There was a strange sense of peacefulness as she was pulled by the abysmal void underneath her, with debris and sand and trees flying and dancing around her. Down there, the current was weak, unlike the stormy sea above her. There was still a ray of sunlight to tell her that yes, there was still something happening up there. The Dragon’s Daughter was even bigger from undersea, it was almost breathtaking.

_ Wait… Breath… Breathe. _

_ BREATHE! _

Catra snapped out of her trance and did her best to pull the fragment out from her shoulder. Screaming would have wasted too much precious oxygen to get back to the surface, but at least crying underwater was invisible. Her whole body jolted with adrenaline, and she didn’t feel anything, so she tried and tried and tried to swim back to the surface.

In vain, it seemed, because no matter how  _ hard _ she was trying, she still seemed to be stuck.

Her eyesight was darkening, and she couldn’t decide if it was the lack of sunlight or how dizzy she was feeling. Her limbs were starting to hurt, she was sore, and she was so cold.

_ So this is how I’m going to die, huh? Deep under the murky waters of Salineas while my better half is in wide space… Complete opposites from beginning to end – how fucking funny _ .

There was something cruel in the irony of life… Maybe, just maybe, she deserved it.

Her eyes closed.

  
  


It looked like the void had won today.

\---

Operation Beehive, Day 8 – Doradus Prime 21

13:52 BMN, Etheria base time

Still no news of Catra.

This wasn’t normal.

Maybe she stayed too long underwater, maybe her brain lacked too much oxygen. Maybe the others didn’t want to tell Adora her girlfriend didn’t make it – _ for the good of that stupid, useless mission _ – and  _ oh _ was the incarnation of She-Ra pissed off.

She didn’t care anymore about diplomacy, or new planets, or that dumb magic all over the universe.

She wanted to be with Catra now. Use She-Ra’s magic to help the woman she loved.

At least, she would feel useful.

Unlike now.

Suddenly _ – finally –  _ her trackpad buzzed.

“…Angella?”

“Good afternoon Adora,” the Queen Mother started. “I’m not sure asking you how you are feeling would be judicious… Would you like me to give you the news before we start talking?”

“Please,” the blonde answered. “I need to know.”

Angella noted Adora’s distorted face. The dark circles. The puffy eyes – how much of a mess she was. And the angel had that strange look again – Concern? Pity? Probably the latter. Adora knew she was pathetic – it showed as every single friend of hers looked at her with those sad eyes everytime they interacted with her. Like she had lost someone.

But Angella nodded. “Catra just woke up, the nurse is changing her bandages. She tried to claw and bite Eliza, so you know she’s fine” she added with an amused smile. “She asked after you – said she would have contacted you before but unfortunately her pad couldn’t be salvaged in the events of yesterday. In a… More  _ personal _ manner.”

Adora let out a breath and her shoulders finally – after a sleepless night and a few panic attacks – relaxed. She closed her eyes for a second, the threat of a tear in the corner of her eye –  _ feelings _ ,  _ what a disgusting thing to have  _ – but the blonde didn’t care. She smiled.

Catra was okay, and she asked after her. Probably swearing like a pirate in front of royalty.

_ That’s my girl… _ Adora eventually realized, closing the chapter of terror behind her.  _ Catra’s okay. _

“ADORA?!” could be heard on the trackpad, out of frame.

She chuckled. _ Definitely okay. _

“I’ll let you two catch up,” Angella said, giving the device to Catra.

“Thank you Angella,” Adora urged, before the angel left. “Hey Dumbass.”

Catra rolled her eyes, visibly tired, and weakened. “Miss me already,  _ princess _ ? I told you I would stick around your cute butt for a long time.”

_ Humor _ , one of Catra’s masks to hide her true feelings. Adora just knew – and that broke her heart a little more.

“Don’t you ever, ever do that again. Do you understand?”

Catra’s ear twitched, curious.

“Don’t you ever scare me like that and make me think I lost you again, I –”  _ I couldn’t handle it _ , Adora wanted to say. But her voice cracked and her tears broke through at long last.

She sobbed uncontrollably, because she thought Catra wouldn’t make it. And Adora couldn’t have done anything about it, and she was too far away.

“Mermista saved me, Adora… I didn’t even know she could breathe underwater – but that saved me. I hope she told you I didn’t consent to that kiss.” Catra tentatively said. A few seconds passed, before she added “That was… Scary. I don’t wanna do it again.”

The blue and golden-eyed girl was rubbing the back of her neck and all Adora wanted to do was hug her, tell her it would be okay, and protect her from whatever would come after them. Kiss her, be there for her.

But Adora was light-years away and all that surrounded her was the crushing silence and the oppressive space and its stinky air conditioning.

She was fucking  _ lonely _ .

“I want to go home,” she begged Catra. “I want to be with you and I want to have a house and grow vegetables and you can make fun of me when I come home all muddy, but  _ please Catra  _ I want to do it with you…”

Now the two of them were crying.

“Please...” she implored.

  
  


\---

Day 16 of community work – Seaworthy market,

10:37 BMN, Etheria base time

Catra was walking down the streets of Seaworthy. The woman was on a mission: the chef of Sea Ra’s castle – as she affectionately called Mermista’s palace – had asked her to buy some of the catch of the day to prepare fish for today’s lunch, since she couldn’t wash the dishes yet with her bandaged shoulder. Apparently, Bow’s dads were staying for a few weeks here, as the Prime’s ship ruins caught their attention.

“What’s it gonna be for the young lady?” the fishmonger asked, pulling Catra away from her thoughts.

“Hi. I’ll take four red mullets please.”

“Sure thing, cap,” the old man started. He picked four medium fish and put them in large tree leaves – Catra guessed it was corn, as it was common to grow them inland. As he extended his hand to put them in Catra’s basket, he realized something that was so familiar about the brunette’s face. His graying brows furrowed. “You’re… The force captain. The conqueror of Salineas.”

Catra sighed, ears instantly dropping. “I was there… And I’m sorry. I’m here to fix it, I promise. There’s a royal guard behind me. Five meters behind, you can’t miss them. If it can help you trust my version, if not trust me. I don't wanna make a scene... I'll leave if you want me to.”

The old sailor pulled the fish back, lips pinched so tight they were all white. His face was reddening, and Catra recognized the signs of anger, and madness, all over the seller’s face.

When the fishmonger opened his mouth and inhaled, shoulders tensed and eye twitching, Catra braced herself for the fight that would follow. The one she definitely deserved. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BMN = Brightmoon, I tried to make it sound like a travel narrative... Hope it worked lmao 
> 
> Also, hi howzitgoin? I tried to compensate for my... let's say irregular posting with an almost 5k chapter this time!   
> I'm sorry for all the angst, but post-war reconstruction doesn't seem so fun to me. Lighter stuff will occur in Part III tho! I promise.   
> See you around friendos :)

**Author's Note:**

> Each kudo and comment donates one serotonin cell to my very deficient brain, if y'all feeling generous. I hope you liked the story, thank you for reading! :)


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